So, I did the mail. It was easy with the new system in place. I have not found a good place for the newspaper, yet. But, I will. I know I have more of those wicker baskets. --Yes, I will just use one of those.
So, we go into the store--not knowing where to begin. Then, we see the games and start looking at them. Then, I wonder over to where some of these "outfits" are. So, I try some on. They were ok, but if I am going to be an "X", I better be accentuating my goods (a.k.a. boobs). So, I go back out. This time I pick up one that will do just what I need, and it ties in the back. So, I try it on--well I don't actually get it on because I grabbed the wrong size - I grabbed a small. Let me tell you - in my head I thought it was the "XL". I am untying and loosening the ties in the back, but this thing -- it only went around 1/2 my body. I looked at the tag-- you should have seen the smile on my face. If a small could go around 1/2 my body, an "XL" should fit me great - maybe a little bit loose even. So, the sales associate brings me the "XL".
So, now I just have to take it off and we can get out of this store. I'm thinking undoing this thing shouldn't be bad at all. So, I start taking it off, and one of the fasteners is bent. It's the middle one. I can't get it off. I am trying everything. So, I start thinking of my options: I can ask the lady to send my husband back or I could just tell them I want to wear it out. I am starting to sweat. I keep trying to get this thing off. The associate has been in twice to see how I was doing. I try to pull it over my head-- not strong enough. I'm trying to grab the material around the fastener so that I can pinch it and the ball will come loose. Nothing. I know that I have been in the dressing room a long time. So, it has come to my options-- I put my pants on. If I decide to wear the thing --well there is just one catch--- they've attached underwear to it --and they are hanging off the back. No matter what-- I am going to have to buy it---I bent --the living crap-out of the fastener. --Oh sure Deb--I am getting this thing on no matter what. What was I thinking?--I wasn't thinking. So, I try a couple more times. I try holding my breath, I try moving the fastener up to a thinner part of my body. This is Crazy. I have to do something I have been in this dressing room forever. Then, -- I tried --and it popped open. Oh, I was so relieved. Now I just had to finish getting dressed and get out. --This is all over a homework assignment. I look at the tag---$89.00. EIGHTY-NINE DOLLARS. I didn't even know they could cost that much. So, now I am paying $89 for something with a bent clasp that I don't even know will work. This is just great.
Dave was taking the girls to Kohl's to do some shopping. Anyway, I said wait a minute, I have a coupon - it was for 20% off. We got it in the mail and I had put it in my coupon organizer. It was easy to find, and Dave commented---now that is how a family is supposed to work. Go ME!
******The Popping Ending******
So, I had another therapy appointment today (couples therapy). After a long session, she decides to talk about us. In us -- I mean --Me and Dave. She said that we really have to spend some quality time together. And by quality time -- I mean sex. I know-- I know. My friend calls it the buhda, buhda. Anyway, this therapist starts talking to us. Then, she said that we should go to Ambiance, and get a game and maybe a negligee. I said, I don't think so --there is nothing good about having an "X" on your tag (you know XL, 1X,2X...). My husband started cracking up. He said that's good honey - really good. Anyway, she said this is your homework.
So, we go into the store--not knowing where to begin. Then, we see the games and start looking at them. Then, I wonder over to where some of these "outfits" are. So, I try some on. They were ok, but if I am going to be an "X", I better be accentuating my goods (a.k.a. boobs). So, I go back out. This time I pick up one that will do just what I need, and it ties in the back. So, I try it on--well I don't actually get it on because I grabbed the wrong size - I grabbed a small. Let me tell you - in my head I thought it was the "XL". I am untying and loosening the ties in the back, but this thing -- it only went around 1/2 my body. I looked at the tag-- you should have seen the smile on my face. If a small could go around 1/2 my body, an "XL" should fit me great - maybe a little bit loose even. So, the sales associate brings me the "XL". I go to put it on----that's weird---it doesn't fit. I go to the back and start unlacing the criss-cross. I try it on again, it still doesn't fit. Now I am thinking---"I'M GETTING THIS THING ON". I unlaced the "thing" as far as it could go. It was going to be a tight fit. I start pouring myself into this little "XL" number. The fasteners in the front have a little ball on one side and on the other side is a metal fitting that has a big hole that the ball slides into and then you slide it further into a smaller hole---and that will lock it in place. So, I start at the top --- that goes pretty good. Then, I go to the next one---and the 1st one pops open. So, I start over. The same thing happens. I am now getting angry in my head. I am going to get this "thing" on. So, I start again. Fastener - after - Fastener ---One -by- One--I got those little suckers. I looked in the mirror---Wow---Did I Look Slender? Wow---I looked good. I WILL TAKE THIS ONE.
So, now I just have to take it off and we can get out of this store. I'm thinking undoing this thing shouldn't be bad at all. So, I start taking it off, and one of the fasteners is bent. It's the middle one. I can't get it off. I am trying everything. So, I start thinking of my options: I can ask the lady to send my husband back or I could just tell them I want to wear it out. I am starting to sweat. I keep trying to get this thing off. The associate has been in twice to see how I was doing. I try to pull it over my head-- not strong enough. I'm trying to grab the material around the fastener so that I can pinch it and the ball will come loose. Nothing. I know that I have been in the dressing room a long time. So, it has come to my options-- I put my pants on. If I decide to wear the thing --well there is just one catch--- they've attached underwear to it --and they are hanging off the back. No matter what-- I am going to have to buy it---I bent --the living crap-out of the fastener. --Oh sure Deb--I am getting this thing on no matter what. What was I thinking?--I wasn't thinking. So, I try a couple more times. I try holding my breath, I try moving the fastener up to a thinner part of my body. This is Crazy. I have to do something I have been in this dressing room forever. Then, -- I tried --and it popped open. Oh, I was so relieved. Now I just had to finish getting dressed and get out. --This is all over a homework assignment. I look at the tag---$89.00. EIGHTY-NINE DOLLARS. I didn't even know they could cost that much. So, now I am paying $89 for something with a bent clasp that I don't even know will work. This is just great.I get out of the dressing room and Dave said, " I thought we were only going to be in here 10 minutes--picking out games-you were in there for 45 minutes." I said- honey--- I'm sorry ---Let's just get out of here and I will explain in the car. I had a mild headache when we entered, but by the time we left my head hurt so bad I didn't even know if Excedrine would work.
Anyway, let's get back on task. Why? I don't know---because I don't want to end the blog like that. The material thing isn't working out - it just isn't fun anymore. I have decided to box it up and deal with it another day.
I really hope my day improves. I will be thinking of my next task, and I will talk to you tomorrow. Until then...
This is me. This is my blog.
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